Getting older is no fun. But you can always turn to your good friends for support when you’re struggling with a birthday…
Or not! Friends tend to like to really rub salt in your wounds. If you’re turning another year older then it’s pretty likely a friend will be there to continuously remind you. And probably in the cruelest way possible! Because that’s what friends are for.
So if you’re looking for a way to say Happy Birthday to an older lady or some birthday wishes for a more mature female friend then read on. Our selection of funny wording ideas for your old woman birthday wishes will have your friend laughing (or crying!) throughout their big day.
Happy Birthday Old Lady Wishes
Use these birthday wishes to tease and have some fun with a female friend.
- Happy Birthday to someone who deserves to be treasured. After all, fossils of your era are hard to find
- Remember, if you have a dream, you should always chase it. You can still run at your age, right? Happy Birthday old lady
- May you grow so old that people mistake your boobs for nuts! Happy Birthday, old lady!
- I’m always so pleased when your birthday comes around. It reminds me that you will always be older than me!
- Happy Birthday! I think I’m really going to enjoy your uncomfortably honest old lady stage
- For your birthday, I wanted to get you something to remind you of your youth, but they were sold out of cave art and dinosaur bones
- I don’t usually say happy birthday, but when I do it’s because you’re old. Enjoy your day old gal
- You remind me of a jar of pickles. You’re pretty well preserved for your age. Happy Birthday, my dear old friend!
- Congratulations for being one year closer to becoming crazy cat lady status. Happy Birthday old woman
- Knowing how old you are I don’t think matches are going to cut it. We’re going to need a flame-thrower to light up your candles. Happy Birthday old timer
- Happy Birthday you old hag. Don’t worry, you don’t look a day older than the age you tell people you are
- I will never send you one of those greeting cards making fun of your age. I know how sensitive old folks are about that sort of thing. Happy Birthday, old lady
- By the power vested in me, I hereby pronounce you an old woman. You may now enjoy your birthday celebration
- Like a fine wine we get better with age… or rather, we feel better about our age with lots of wine! Happy Birthday to us old women!
- Congratulations! You are another year closer to being able to get that senior discount at Target and wear the underwear that you can pee in!!
- The funny thing about you is that you age, but your maturity levels always stay the same! Happy Birthday
- Happy birthday! They say that growing old is truly an art. You, my friend, must be a Picasso or a Rembrandt
- You are gradually getting to the top of the hill. Better than being buried under it, I guess. Happy Birthday, old bird
SEE MORE: Birthday Messages for Aunt
Birthday Quotes for an Old Lady
A fitting birthday quote is also a great way to poke some fun at someone. Try one of these that talk about age and getting older.
- “From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, she needs a good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash” – Sophie Tucker
- “I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it” – Eva Gabor
- “Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative” – Maurice Chevalier
- “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age” – Lucille ball
- “I have everything now I had twenty years ago except now it’s all lower” – Gypsy Rose Lee
- “I think all this talk about age is foolish. Every time I’m one year older, everyone else is too.” – Gloria Swanson
- “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest” – Reverend Larry Lorenzoni
- “You’re not aging….You’re marinating” – Anonymous
SEE MORE: Happy 80th Birthday Wishes
We hope you found the right sort of birthday message you were looking for. Don’t forget though that at some point you’ll be on the receiving end of some harsh birthday wishes. So prepare yourself now, you’re time is coming!