“Happy Birthday, old man!” – not the nicest way to wish someone a happy birthday, is it? In fact it may even sound a bit cruel.
But when it’s between friends we often make fun of and give each other a hard time over getting older. Especially when it’s guys! That sort of banter can seem harsh but is meant with affection.
Birthday wishes for – how should we say it – the older gentleman are quite often designed to ridicule and mock. Joking about their age, bodily functions, even sex lives are all common. Crude? Maybe. Funny? Definitely! And if it’s for a close pal then they usually take it all in good humour.
So if you’re looking for some funny birthday messages for an older man, maybe even your husband then you’re in the right place. The selection below is filled with the perfect wording ideas for your birthday wishes to the more mature fella you know.
Old Man Birthday Wishes
With old age comes new skills: you can laugh, cough, sneeze and piss yourself all at once! Happy Birthday!
I was going to make a joke to mark your birthday but the fact you’re still alive is nothing short of a miracle and should be celebrated!
Happy Birthday! I’ve kept the receipt for the gift, y’know, just in case you didn’t make it
Some words of wisdom for your birthday – smile while you still have some teeth! Happy Birthday, old fart!
Happy Birthday! You’ve made it to dirty old man territory
Remember when 50 seemed old? If you weren’t so old you would! Happy Birthday, old man!
I was sure I would get the right amount of candles to put on your cake this year, but quickly ran out of space! Happy Birthday you old fart
Happy Birthday, old man. I hope you have a fun and exhilarating party… quickly follow by a long nap. We don’t want you overdoing it now, do we?
Happy Birthday. I would say you were old but hell, you were old last year!
Congratulations! You’ve reached the age where you wake up at the same time you used to go to sleep on a Saturday. Happy Birthday old timer
Happy Birthday. Thank you for always being older than me
You know that saying ‘with age comes wisdom’? In your case.. not so much. Happy Birthday old man!
I was going to give you some advice – “you have to appreciate the little things”. But I remembered that at your age spotting little things is easier said than done! Happy Birthday!
Another year and you’re one step closer to diapers being mandatory! Happy Birthday you old fart!
I know birthdays get worse as you get older. But look on the bright side – not many left now!
Can you let me know if you’re going to be blowing your candles out? I want to have the hospital on speed dial. That much effort at your age, you can’t be too careful. Happy Birthday oldie
I wish I could figure out how old you are but I hate long math. Happy Birthday you old geezer
Happy Birthday! Today marks another day closer to your balls touching the water when you go to the toilet
Its nice to be young, healthy and full of energy.. do you remember what that feels like? Happy Birthday, old fart!
Don’t worry about getting older. You’re still going to do stupid stuff, just a lot slower. Happy Birthday, old man
From one old fart to another – happy birthday!
Enjoy your birthday old balls!
Happy Birthday. Warm regards to your knees
Just another year and another wrinkle on the ol’ nutsack. Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday you old codger! Save some of the air from your oxygen tank to blow out the candles
If you believe in it, you can be anything! Unless you want to be young again, then I’m afraid you missed that train old pal!
Happy Birthday! You’re not getting older you’re just a little closer to death
An old fart is as good as a new one….
Age is just a number… although in you’re case it’s a pretty big number! Happy birthday to an old fossil
You think you are old? You’re not old… you were old last year, this year you’re ancient. Happy Birthday my relic of a friend!
Happy Birthday Old Man Quotes
These birthday quotes are all about getting older and old age so should be perfect to tease and poke fun at a male friend of yours.
- “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake” –
- “You’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it” – Felix Severn
- “Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself” – Tom Wilson
- “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two” – Norman Wisdom
- “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest” – Rev. Larry Lorenzoni
- “Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed” – Charles Schultz
- “The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana” – Betty White
SEE MORE: Happy 80th Birthday Wishes
We hope you liked these birthday wishes for old men and that they’ve helped you to have a bit of a laugh with a friend of yours. Be warned though: it won’t be too long until you’re on the receiving end of one of these messages yourself!
Sally Gibson is the founder of Someone Sent you a Greeting, a holiday/celebration website. Sally’s writing work has been mentioned in Woman’s World, Yahoo, Women’s Health, MSN and more. If you have any questions get in contact with one of the team via the about page.
2 thoughts on “Happy Birthday Old Man! 34 Hilarious Birthday Wishes for Him”
Omg these are hilarious! I love them